If you stop to think about it, life can seem somewhat absurd, especially if you are already in your later years and haven't devoted your entire life to a single pursuit.
I'm sitting here on a Sunday, following tradition by planning my week. In 99.9% of the time, my thoughts are like this – "Yes, everything is great and should be this way – life is a struggle, no other way about it. You need to build muscles in your mind, character, and hands. There's a time for work, and a time for leisure. You need to step out of your comfort zone and do things I don't know how to do." Most of the time, I derive immense satisfaction from each day; I don't need any drugs, alcohol, or sex. I'm enjoying what I do, and I have a profound sense of purpose and awareness, etc.
Rarely, very rarely, but I sometimes have moments where it seems to me that on a global scale, everything is some kind of elaborate prank, and I'm apparently playing it on myself. Damn it, I genuinely feel sorry for people who have lived a long life and haven't done what they really wanted to do. Maybe I'm wrong, but all else being equal, everything seems equally meaningless, and if you assume that a person knows what they want, then they should do it immediately without postponing it "for tomorrow." Because there might be no tomorrow. But damn it, it's very difficult, and everything changes. What appears to be a square today might seem like a rhombus tomorrow. And then you have to convince yourself that a square is actually a rhombus. So, knowing how to persuade is a double benefit. You can amass wealth and maintain your sanity. The mind is an incredibly flexible structure; otherwise, we would all be insane. You have to negotiate "with yourself." Life is about self-discovery. If everyone knew what they really needed, it would be easier. But no, everything has been complicated to the Hardcore level. It's no wonder that not everyone wins; the game is incredibly complex, and everyone starts with different initial conditions. Still, I believe that people who try to understand the rules, follow their dreams, conquer their fears, and derive pleasure from this process are the ones who live long and happily.
I'll go for a run and do some reading instead.
PS: In any case, hold on tight to the handrail, which, hopefully, is in the fast-moving vehicle that's taking you on your desired route. Wipe your glasses with quality cloths to avoid streaks. It's scary even to think that in the future, there might be shame for years lived aimlessly. Despite all the apparent meaninglessness, it makes sense to choose "fundamental" values and spend time on them. Let's hope that our ancestors' experience is the right one. If you don't think, everything seems simple, and everything will be fine until things go wrong. But if you think – it seems the opposite, everything is complicated, everything will be bad (even if not immediately). But if you try very hard, then there is a chance that everything will be fine in the process, and you can stretch out the process for a long time and enjoy life.
The convenient sense is "in the process." Results are small parts of the process. Results matter every day, by mutual agreement – between you and your conscience.
I love puzzles, but I can't solve them all. What to do?
Is it time to read Hegel?